Hurt
by Shadyyyy
Summary: Ulrich's life is forever changed after a terrible event in his home. His depression only gets worse from there. Can his friends help him before it's too late? Rated T for language, one scene of strong violence, and sexual content.
1. Full of Broken Thoughts

Chapter One: Full of Broken Thoughts

"Ulrich, get up!"

A familiar voice was screaming next to my tired head.

"We're going to be late for class again. Ms. Hertz will give us detention for sure. "

My hyperactive roommate Odd Della Robbia was already dressed and ready for class. This is unusual, since I'm normally the one waking him up. His laziness gets on my nerves sometimes, and I'm not really sure why he's in such a rush to get to class considering he'll probably sleep through it any way.

"Odd, Leave me the hell alone. You're just going to sleep through it anyway." I snapped back, still mostly under the covers.

"Geez, Ulrich! What got into you," Odd asked in a taken-aback manner "I just don't want to spend two hours in study hall"

"Alright whatever Just give me a minute." I rolled over and checked the time on Odd's alarm clock. 9:12. _Damn it, _I thought. I missed breakfast. I got of bed and quickly got dressed in my usual outfit of different shades of green. The only part of my outfit that isn't green is my shoes, white Nike Airs. I have always considered myself an avid Nike fan, as I use their soccer cleats as well.

I really wasn't happy about missing breakfast, but I have missed it before. Kadic Academy really does have good food, though. I had to hurry to class if I was going to make it without detention.

Later, at lunch when I sat down next to Odd, he immediately broke the ice.

"Why are you so miserable lately?" He asked me with a worried look. Despite what my earlier comments may indicate, Odd is really my best friend, and the only one of our group that knows a lot about my personal life. We're more or less brothers, since I don't have any and my family is the main reason of my depression. He really has become the only family I'd like to acknowledge.

"Lemme guess, is it your Dad?" See what I mean? He knows what's wrong with me before I even answer.

"Yeah it is. What else could it possibly be?" I answered despondently.

"Yumi?" Odd responded sarcastically, as I gave him a dirty look, saying nothing.

"Just saying, that could also be why!" He gave a chuckle after this statement. He was absolutely right. Yumi was the love of my life but I could never tell her that. Our relationship probably originated the phrase "It's complicated" and that was exactly how it is with us. No one understands it, not even us. We've always kept each other at a certain distance. Odd tests my patience rather intensely about the matter. He always tries to get us to confess our true feelings about each other. I can understand where he's coming from, but he needs to shut up because in reality, all he's doing is pushing us further apart.

"Odd, Sometimes you really should _shut up_!" I hissed.

"Okay I'll stop," he said and quieted down. "But you should really be in your holiday spirit, Ulrich or you're getting coal in your Christmas stocking." Then he took almost an entire sandwich and swallowed it whole.

_If he only knew_, I thought. I'd be lucky if I got anything at all from that man. I have to go home for three days for Christmas, and goddamn it, I really hope he doesn't get drunk this weekend. My mind keeps telling me that's just a pipe dream. Deep inside, I know it is. Slowly and slowly optimism slowly runs dry for me. I'm leaving tomorrow after class, when my father arrives.

"Where are Jeremy and Aelita?" I asked Odd.

"In the factory," He responded. "They've been there since we got out of class for lunch."

"What for? Didn't we all agree to stay away from there?"

"Well," Odd began. "They were there to do something really secret."

"Secret like what?"

"Secret like… starting a machine-human war! I don't know, Ulrich. They didn't tell me."

"Whatever. They're probably kissing or something."

"Wow! That's quite a leap!"

"I don't know about that, Odd." Jeremy and Aelita have really gotten more intimate after XANA was defeated. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what they were doing. For Odd, the self-imposed ladies' man of Kadic, he really missed something big here.

"Oh whatever," Odd said. "Hey, wanna go skateboarding tonight? It would really get your mind off what's going on with you. Plus, you need to have some fun."

He had a point there. "Sure," I replied. "I'll meet you after dinner."


	2. My Empire of Dirt

Chapter Two: My Empire Of Dirt

"So you wanna tell me exactly what's so bad about your father?" Odd asked in mid-air.

"He's an alcoholic. He's also very abusive. He intimidates me and I'm worried he's going to hurt me." I said as I was sitting to the side of the half-pipe where Odd was doing some truly impressive tricks. He may never beat me in Pencak Silat or in any sport, but wow! He truly is a gifted skateboarder. I always thought I was really good, but he is definitely better than me.

"Hey, Ulrich, you should just…Hey, what are you doing?" Odd asked in near surprise as I took out a cigarette. He nearly fell off his skateboard in mid-air, but instead ended up recovering and skating over to me and jumping off.

"Smoking," I nonchalantly replied as I pulled out my treasured Zippo lighter and lit my cigarette. "And If you want one you can have one." Odd did not know that I smoked, nor did anyone really. I get cigarettes from that dipshit Theo, who in turn, gets them from his uncaring parents. The Zippo was a gift from my older cousin who died about a year ago in a car crash. He got it for me because it bore an emblem of Bruce Lee on it. Bruce Lee was my idol in the martial arts world. A true visionary who like my cousin, died way too young.

"Wow Ulrich! When did you start?" Odd asked, still shocked.

"About two years ago. I never told you because you didn't ask, and you wouldn't have asked because you wouldn't have seen me doing it." I responded as I held out my pack, offering him one.

"Yeah I'll have one." Odd picked out a cigarette and put it between his lips.

"Just suck a little and blow." I said as I lit his cigarette.

"Ulrich, you should…" Odd was interrupted by a series of coughs coming from his chest. "Holy shit," he exclaimed, still coughing. "How do you do it so calmly?"

"You get used to it. Don't worry, Odd; I coughed my first time too." I chuckled as I said that, my face covered by smoke in the darkness. Odd seemed to get used to it though, as he didn't cough anymore after that.

"Wow. As I was saying before I was twice cut off, you should really stay back here for Christmas. I am." Odd proposed.

"Unfortunately I don't think that's going to happen. And besides, Dad would kill me if he found out I stayed with you than with him." I remarked as I took a puff from the cigarette and blew several smoke circles.

"Why is that?" Odd asked as he also took a puff off of his.

"Because he hates you guys."

"Well what the hell does he know? He's never met us!" Odd shot back, upset.

"He thinks you're the reason for my lousy grades."

"Well that's bullshit," Odd angrily snapped. "If anybody's the reason, it's him! The amount of pressure he puts on you is unbearable!"

"I totally agree. But unfortunately he's my father and you're my friends."

"That's so dumb," Odd shouted and extinguished his cigarette. "We're more of a family to you than he is!"

"I think so too, but..." I was cut off by another unseen voice.

"Ulrich, what are you doing?"


	3. I Remember Everything

Chapter Three: I Remember Everything

The voice behind me belonged to none other than Jeremy Belpois. My friend, and the person who thrust me into a brave new world three years ago when he showed me a supercomputer and the awe-inspiring virtual world Lyoko. He was walking alongside Aelita Schaeffer (aka Aelita Stones for all intents and purposes) who also had a puzzled look on her face.

"Why are you smoking, Ulrich?" He asked with a stern look.

"None of your business!" I yelled back at him.

"We're all really worried about you." Aelita said in a calmer manner.

"Don't worry about me, worry about yourselves. You two can just head back to the factory and resume your makeout party."

"Ulrich that isn't what we were…" Jeremy began.

"Shut the fuck up, Jeremy. You can play the nerd all you want, but deep inside all you want is Aelita to suck your dick for you." I angrily interrupted.

Odd, Jeremy and Aelita's mouths dropped at my previous comment. No one could believe the way I was speaking. They didn't speak for several seconds, and then Jeremy started speaking with an angered inflection in his voice.

"Ulrich I understand you're depressed and all, but that was totally uncalled for. I understand how you're feeling…"

"Oh, fuck you," I yelled as I threw my cigarette away and stepped in front of Jeremy's face. "You don't know a goddamn thing about me, okay Jeremy? None of you have any idea what I'm going through. Not a single one of you. You all live the most sheltered lives of anybody I've ever seen. You all seemed so shocked to see me smoke. But don't expect it to end there. I'm going to come back from my father's with a shitload of bruises. And that's the bare minimum. It will probably be way worse than that. I could come back with a broken arm, okay? So there you go, Jeremy. If my downward spiral concerns you, understand one thing: It is totally out of your control. So mind your fucking business!" Everyone just stood there in awe at my outburst. No one said anything as I turned and hopped on my skateboard and sped back to Kadic.


	4. I Will Find A Way

**Author's Note: I know I haven't been putting any author's notes, but now I will. I do a lot with Ulrich in the next few chapters. And for those of you wondering where Yumi has been, she does not enter the story yet. She does not enter for two more chapter minimum, I'm really not sure when. But she does have a big part in the story. For those of you that don't recognize them, the chapter headings are from the song Hurt, by Nine Inch Nails, which this story is inspired by.**

Chapter Four: I Will Find A Way

I shot up in bed that night after a horrible nightmare. I was sweating profusely, through my boxers and white tank I always wore to bed. I checked the time: 3:30 AM. I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter and went outside. I took a seat in the park near the school and lit a cigarette. "Oh damn it, I hope my life turns around soon" I said to myself.

After a while, I was startled a tired Odd's voice.

"Ulrich," he yawned, still half-asleep. "What are you doing this late?"

"Smoking. I'm having trouble sleeping." I answered, inhaling on my cigarette.

"You know, you really surprised me today," Odd told me. "I've never heard anyone talk like that to anyone. What did you do it for?"

"Because I'm in a bad mood and don't like people questioning what I do. So if Jeremy doesn't like it, so be it. I've really had enough of all of you worrying about me." I snapped back angrily.

"Ulrich you should really get some rest. You have a big day tomorrow." Odd advised.

He couldn't be more right. I snuffed out my cigarette and went back to the dorm with Odd.

* * *

The next morning I woke up rather restlessly. The plan for the day for simple: class, lunch with the others, minus Yumi, who was still at home tending to her sick parents, then Pencak Silat with Jim. Then, _Damn it._ That was it before my father arrives. I realized I had to make this day count unlike any other before. I wouldn't let anything bring me down. I hopped out of bed and got dressed, then headed to class.

* * *

Classes went quickly. I found myself at the lunch table with Odd, Jeremy and Aelita.

"Hiya doing, Ulrich?" Aelita asked.

"Much better today. I'm living today like it was my last." I answered jovially.

"That's a good attitude if that's what it takes for you to feel some happiness," Jeremy added. "We all got you something, Ulrich."

"What's that?" I inquired.

"A little something for you to remember that we're here for you during the next few days." Odd said, handing me a small package.

"Thanks, guys." I unwrapped it, and opened the small square-shaped box. I pulled out a silver necklace with a pendant that opened up, revealing a picture of all of us taken about a year ago.

"Aw, that's great! Whose idea was it?" I looked at the three of them as Odd, Jeremy and Aelita all looked at one another.

"Yumi's." Jeremy whispered.

My eyes widened. I was very thankful that she came up with this. _This could very well get me through the next few days, _I thought to myself.

"Alright, guys. I'll catch you later. I have Pencak Silat with Jim." I got up and pushed my chair in.

"Bye Ulrich!" They all said almost in unison.

As I walked away to exit the cafeteria, someone with a deep voice that I instantly recognized called my name.

"Ulrich." The voice called my attention.

I turned around to see Theo Gauthier. He held out his hand. In it were a pack of Gauloises cigarettes, which I grabbed and put in my pocket.

"Thanks man." I said as I shook his hand.

"Anytime." He added as he pat me on the back as I left.

* * *

Pencak Silat has also been a personal method of relaxation for me. Many students never even heard of it until I came along. I have been practicing it since I was about ten years old when my deceased cousin taught me basic moves. I have since became a force to be reckoned with.

"So Ulrich, let's see some of your moves." Jim instructed me. A lot of students despise Jim. But I don't understand why. He is very cool once you get to know him. And he is one hell of a martial artist.

"Alright, here you go." I put on a show with some very complex strikes based on the _Satria _form.

Jim sat in awe. "Ulrich when did you learn the _Satria _technique?" He inquired.

"This past summer." I answered back.

"Damn. Ulrich, I knew you were gifted, but now you really have impressed me. It took me twenty years to perfect the warrior form."

"It isn't that hard, Jim. You just need a lot of inner strength and discipline." I showed off more moves.

Jim's phone rang. "Hello. Why yes, Mr. Delmas. I'll have him front of the school in ten minutes."

He hung up. "Sorry to cut our session short Ulrich, but your father is waiting for you outside."

My heart sank into my stomach. _Now he's really pissed me off, _I thought. _He cuts my Pencak Silat session short to pick me up two hours early? That sucks. _I picked up my things and exited the gymnasium.

* * *

I walked outside the front door of the school with my bag over my shoulder, to a depressing sight.

"Hello, Ulrich."

Sure enough, there was my father, standing outside the car door with a dumb smile on his face.

"Hi, Dad." I quietly responded.

"Ready to go?"

"Yes. Let's not keep Mom waiting."

"She's preparing dinner." My father remarked as he leaned in to tell me something. "And I know you like her cooking."

I could smell the beer on his breath. _Shit. Another day in paradise._

* * *

**Author's Note: Next chapter will be very violent and shocking and will shape the entire rest of the story. Most of the story's M rating comes from the next chapter. That's a job for tomorrow, though. Off to bed after I post this.**


	5. The Old Familiar Sting

**Author's Note: This chapter will contain a scene of graphic violence. Be prepared. **

Chapter 5: The Old Familiar Sting

I knew something was wrong the minute I walked through the front door. My mother was in the kitchen cooking dinner. I was pretty sure he had already beaten her before he came to get me. Dinner was almost ready, so my parents and I sat down at the table.

* * *

"So Ulrich, would you like to tell me why I got another awful report card?" May father asked while taking a swig from his beer.

"I'm having trouble concentrating," I responded with a scared look.

"I'm telling you it's those friends of yours." _Here we go, _I thought.

"Dad, you don't know anything about them."

"I know you spend more time with them than in class."

"Well whoop-de-do, Dad. They are in all my classes. So there. Don't talk negatively when you don't fucking…" I was cut off by a sharp pain in my face as my father, with all his strength, struck me in the face. The force of the punch was so strong it not only knocked me out of the chair, but made my face start bleeding.

My mother jumped up. "Dear, what have you done?" She had no sooner finished her sentence when she, too, was hit in the face by a vicious punch. She laid there unconscious for a few minutes. I was in a lot of pain, but was not unconscious. I could see everything my father had done. However, I did not see what came next. He went back to the bedroom for what seemed like five minutes. He returned with something. I could barely make out what it was, but I knew what it was. It was a revolver. A small, snub-nosed .357 revolver. _Oh shit. This is it. I'm going to die, _I thought.

To my surprise, my father did not go for me first. I couldn't believe it. I thought he was going to blow my brains out right then and there. But no, instead, he walked over to my unconscious mother. He raised his gun, and aimed it just below my Mom's head.

"Goodbye, dear. I'll see you in a mute." He pulled the trigger. The gun made easily the loudest sound I'd ever heard up until that point. The bullet tore through my mother's throat, severing her jugular. The amount of blood and gore that was coming out was incredible. She started shaking and making unintelligible noises.

_BANG! _He fired again, this one aimed at my mother's forehead. In a flash, mother's brains were on the floor under hear head. It was then official to me: My mother is dead. My father killed my mother.

_Get up, Ulrich! Get out of here, _My mind was telling me.

I mustered every bit of strength I had left and got to my feet and began to run. _I can get out of here. Back to Odd, Jeremy, Aelita, and of course Yumi. _I was about to step out of the door when…

_Bang! _ My father fired at my back, hitting me in my right collarbone. That bullet didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Sure, I was just shot, but the pain wasn't a horrible pain. Little did I know, I spoke too soon.

_Bang! _ This bullet entered in my right lung, not much lower than my other bullet wound. This one almost made me collapse in the doorway, but I kept myself standing by using my hands. This one hurt significantly more than my last one. The pain was unbearable. I felt like my bare lung had been burned by acid. Blood was pouring out of my two wounds and from my mouth. _Oh my God. He's gonna kill me. He's gonna fucking kill me!_ I leaned against the right side of the doorframe, gasping for air. I could not find any air. I was about to pass out when another shot rang out.

_Bang!_

This was what they call a "finishing move."

This bullet hit me in the back. I don't know where exactly. All I knew is that I lost all sensation below my waist almost immediately. I fell to the ground. The green in my clothes turned red quickly. As I was losing consciousness, I saw something I'll never forget.

My father put the gun in his mouth, closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger.

The back of my father's skull was almost blown completely apart. Blood and brain matter was all over the wall behind him. He fell the ground, dead.

_Well, I guess this is how it all ends. _I closed my eyes and laid my head back. I had a flash of several distinct images. The first one concerned my friend Odd.

* * *

**Author's note: The next three chapters will be quick. They are all Ulrich's dreams as he lays dying.**


	6. My Sweetest Friend, Part 1

**Author's Note: I know I'm making some careless grammatical errors. I type quickly. Spell and grammar check don't catch when I screw up. I'd fix it if I could but this website doesn't allow to me to fix things easily. Anyway, this is the first of Ulrich's three dreams. **

Chapter 6: My Sweetest Friend, Part 1

A white flash took me back to my dorm room. Odd was sitting on his bed playing with Kiwi, his dog that has been hidden in our room for three years.

"What am I doing here?" I asked.

"Hanging out with your best friend, good buddy!" Odd came over and sat next to me on my bed, throwing his arm around my neck. Kiwi hopped on my lap.

"Am I dead?" I asked. Everything around me looked so real.

"I wouldn't say dead. I'd say you're dreaming," Odd replied. "Do you feel any pain?"

"No, actually. I feel… good." I answered.

"Well that's a start."

"I can't believe my family's dead. That I'm dead." I softly said.

"You can't die!" Odd yelled. "I won't have my best friend anymore and I'll be forever lonely!"

"But Odd, i just think it's my time."

"It's not! Your time is not until you're old, and have lived a wonderful life."

"Odd, listen. I would love to be alive, but I haven't lived my days out. I haven't lived at all. I've been stuck in a depression that has cut off my ability to be happy. I think I deserve to die."

"Ulrich, don't talk like that. Your father shot you for no reason. That doesn't qualify as deserving. I don't think you should die if you were shot in cold blood like that."

"But you don't decide those things."

"You're right, I don't. All I do is sleep in class, skateboard and most importantly, be your best friend. And I love doing that last one."

"You really are the best, Odd." I gave him a hug, as Kiwi rubbed his head against my arm.

"Goodbye, Ulrich!" Odd yelled faintly as another white light engulfed me.

Now I found myself in the factory, in the elevator. The doors suddenly opened up, and I found myself in the computer lab. The holomap is off and so is the computer. But someone was sitting in the computer's chair.

It was blond, nervous boy with glasses.

"Jeremy?" I exclaimed.

**Author's note: Ulrich's dream about Jeremy will be shorter. **


	7. My Sweetest Friend, Part 2

Chapter Seven: My Sweetest Friend, Part 2

"Jeremy!" I exclaimed.

"Hi Ulrich. How are you?" He asked.

"Painless," I began. "And very sorry for what I said about you and Aelita."

"It doesn't matter to me anymore. I just wanted to say a couple things to you."

"What are those?"

I sat down against the wall of the room as Jeremy answered.

"First thing is this. I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"For saving me. And saving Aelita as well." Jeremy had a point. Although I always made an effort to not be arrogant, I really felt I was the best Lyoko Warrior. After all, I'm the one who defeated the Kolossus, the one who saved all the others many tines both on Lyoko and in the real world. XANA always feared me the most., since he knew I was stronger than the others.

"Jeremy, it was all about saving the day. We spent years fighting XANA. But we succeeded. That was the mission. To return to normal lives. Lives we forgot existed. Lives some of us wanted to know. Lives that others didn't want to know."

"Anyway, I wanted to thank you for that."

"You're welcome. Now what's the second thing."

Do you know that you were right?"

"Right about what?"

"That Aelita and I were kissing in the factory."

"Yes I did. It wasn't that hard to guess, Jeremy."

"I love her, Ulrich. Ever since I laid eyes on her I loved her. She loves me back too. "

"I wish I could have be that way with Yumi."

"You should be thankful. She loves you. She told me, you know."

"Really?"

"Yes. And she was planning to tell you when she came back to school."

"I… I… can't believe it. I was such an idiot."

"Well, you can tell her yourself."

"How?" I asked.

All of a sudden I was once again engulfed in a white light.

I appeared in Kadic's gymnasium. Then a raven-haired Japanese girl walked in. She was naked. Come to think of it, I was too.

* * *

**Author's Note: Next chapter will have a sex scene. And for the record, Ulrich is 16 in this story. The nudity and sex in the next chapter is not supposed to be titillating, but entirely romantic.**


	8. My Sweetest Friend, Part 3

**Author's Note: This chapter has a sex scene with nudity. You are warned.**

Chapter Eight: My Sweetest Friend, Part 3

She was beautiful standing there like that. My love and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with if I could just have found the guts to tell her how I really felt about her. But I didn't. And that is my fault.

"Ulrich, I love you. Why did this have to happen to you?"

"Yumi, I…" I began, unable to keep my eyes off of her features. The bright lights of the room made me feel like I was laying out with her in the moonlight. There she stood, bare-breasted and stunning. Everything that sucked in my life was pushed out of mind, and all thoughts of Yumi came pouring in to my head.

There was a silence. Then she broke it. "I want you to kiss me, Ulrich. I want you kiss me as if you were dying. I want you to feel happy."

I leaned in to kiss her. Our lips locked and we did not let go for thirty-seconds. We began to caress each other, and she laid down on the ground. I laid down on top of her and kissed her again. Then, my mind began to erupt with all the thoughts I ever had of Yumi Ishiyama. Every last little thing. After about ten minutes I began to shake. I realized I was climaxing. _God, is this really what it feels like? I've never felt so good. _

"Well, do you feel happy?" She opened her eyes and looked at mine.

"Yumi, I love you and never want to let you go."

"But you have to. You have to leave because it's not your time."

"No, Yumi! No!" I was crying as my vision was slowly engulfed by black. The last thing I saw was Yumi Ishiyama's smile. Then everything went silent. There was nothing.

* * *

**Author's Note: He's not dead, don't worry. This story has barely begun. And I wasn't going for a lemon here, so don't criticize me if you aren't turned on.**


	9. Everyone I Know

**Author's Note: This chapter will be told third-person. **

Chapter Nine: Everyone I Know

"Della Robbia, Stones, Belpois, Ishiyama!" Called Mr. Delmas, standing behind the people he was calling.

"Yes, Mr. Delmas?" Jeremy responded.

"I need to see all of you in my office immediately. It's urgent."

The Lyoko Warriors looked at each other and followed Mr. Delmas to his office.

* * *

In his boring office, Jean-Pierre Delams had very few personal artifacts, aside from several picture frames of his daughter Sissi.

"I'm afraid I have some terrible news that will no doubt shock all of you."

"What is it, Mr. Delmas?" Odd asked, nervous as ever.

"It's about your friend Ulrich Stern. I'm afraid he's suffered a serious physical trauma. He's in a medical coma."

"What happened to him?" Yumi questioned, nearly crying.

"He has been shot and will likely never walk again. His father shot his wife and Ulrich several times. Then he turned the gun on himself. I'm sorry to say but both his parents are dead. Ulrich is in the hospital. You are all welcome to visit. The doctors say he should be out of the coma in a few hours."

The four Lyoko warriors just sat there in awe. They were completely flabbergasted by the news they were receiving.

"Once we're done here, I've arranged a cab to take you to and from the hospital." Delmas continued.

"Will he be returning to Kadic?" Odd was the first of the four to say anything.

"I fully expect him to. But when he does I will inform the other children. Do not, I repeat, do not tell anyone else until I do."

"Okay, Mr. Delmas. Can we go see him now?" Odd was a cross between sad and restless.

"Very well, the cab is in front of the school.

* * *

No one said anything in the car. Not a peep until they got there. Jeremy, Odd, Aelita and Yumi were too shocked to speak. There were no words to be had. Ulrich's parents were dead and he was paralyzed. For all they knew he could be dead before they got there.

* * *

Once they walked into the hospital, the four students walked to the front desk.

"Ulrich Stern." Jeremy said to the woman behind the desk.

"Down the hall to the left." She pointed in the direction of his room.

The four walked silently to Ulrich's room. They all gasped when they saw what he's become.

A tube ran out of his mouth and was hooked up to a breathing machine. He was asleep. The right side of face was covered in a giant bruise. He was naked, except for green boxers and several bloodied bandages that covered his torso. Several IV's were also hooked to him. _Jesus Christ! _Yumi thought to herself. _He's a fucking mess! This can't be happening. _

"How… Is he?" Yumi posed the question to one of two nurses in the room.

"He's recovering. We've got him on morphine. He should be awake any minute. So don't go anywhere.

No one said anything, except Odd, who nearly threw up when they entered the room.

Yumi pulled up a chair next to him, and began stroking his hand. However, she stopped when she felt it twitch.

All of a sudden, the brown-haired martial arts whiz opened his eyes.

**Author's Note: Ahh, He's awake! Going back to Ulrich's POV next chapter. Leave a review, tell me how I'm doing on this, my first fan-fic.**


	10. I Wear This Crown of Shit

Chapter Ten: I Wear This Crown Of Shit

I opened my eyes to see Yumi, Odd, Aelita, and Jeremy. They all looked very sad and didn't want to look it.

"Mhmhmhmhmh." I tried to speak, but realized I had a tube down my throat preventing me from getting clear words out.

"No talking right now," one of the nurses chimed in, handing me a small whiteboard and a marker. "Write instead."

I picked up the pad and wrote IN PAIN on it.

"Where?" She went over next to my bed and leaned over me.

I wrote EVERYWHERE ABOVE MY WAIST. I knew I was paralyzed by my father's last bullet. I didn't feel anything below my waist. I reached my hand into my boxers and realized, _Oh shit. I've got a catheter. Now I really am a cripple. I can't possibly be like this. I'm a goddamn freak. My father left me in a fate worse than death. I'm trapped in a useless body. Goodbye soccer, goodbye Pencak Silat, goodbye skateboarding, goodbye everything. Everything I love has been taken from me. I'm nothing._

And right then and there, I started sobbing. Not because I was in pain, but because I have lost everything I cared about. Every little thing that had meaning in my heart vanished when my father pulled that trigger.

Yumi leaned over and wiped the tears streaming from my eyes, and kissed my forehead. _So that's what it feels like In real life. _

I wrote something on the white board and flashed it to the nurse.

"Soon, Ulrich. Soon." She answered.

Odd leaned over to see what I had written.

It read: WHEN CAN I GO HOME

Aelita, Jeremy, Yumi, and one of the two nurses left the room. Odd stayed behind with me and the other nurse. I wrote on the whiteboard and flashed it to the nurse: CAN YOU MASSAGE MY BACK?

Odd started laughing. I'm not really sure why, since I was being quite serious. My scars from my sutured bullet wounds were really itchy.

Then I wrote another message but this time flashed it to Odd. The message was: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Odd quieted down in a heartbeat.

"Yes sure, lie on your stomach." I was weak, probably from muscle relaxants, but I obliged. She walked over and began carefully rubbing my scarred and heavily bandaged back. If I could talk, I'd have told her she had soft hands.

Odd got up and pulled a chair next to the bed. "Does that feel good, good buddy?" he whispered in my ear.

I nodded my head. "Well, I can't wait to have my roommate back. Kiwi and I were getting lonely."

Odd's really lost it. After seeing me in this state he really has completely lost his grip on reality. I don't blame him. He's in as much shock as I am.

The nurse continued rubbing my back. She really made me feel painless. Those hands were really quite something on a nurse. I felt… happy. With this massage I realized there was still something in this world that made me happy. That was the confirmation I needed. My will to keep on living had been restored for the moment.

Odd began to leave. As he did I threw my marker at him. I hit him square in the back of the head. He flinched and turned back around, facing me.

"The others are leaving. I have to go back to Kadic." I nodded and held out my hand for him to shake. He came over and shook my hand. "I'll see you later!" He yelled as he sprinted out of the room.

**Author's Note: The nurse is not the black-haired one that XANA possessed in a couple episodes. She's an OC. She's about 30 and is heavier-set and blond. **


	11. Time Has Disappeared

Chapter Eleven: Time Has Disappeared

As I laid there in my hospital bed, I thought a lot about Yumi. I realized I had fucked up hard with our relationship. Now that I'm crippled, I know everything that we were afraid to say to each other would come out the next time I saw her. But I never wanted it to come out like that. I just wanted to be able to let it all out when the time was right. I guess you can't always get what you want.

Right after Odd Left, an extremely tall doctor, well over 2 meters, walked into my room.

"Hello, Ulrich. My name is Dr. Cassel. I'm here to tell you about your condition."

I picked up the whiteboard and wrote YOU ARE TALL and showed it to him.

He chuckled. "I played college basketball, but did not go pro because I'd rather be a doctor."

I nodded.

"So, do you remember what happened?"

I wrote I REMEMBER EVERYTHING.

"Well here's what happened. You were shot a total of three times. The first one entered through the collar bone, fracturing it. That one went right through." I rubbed my hand along the bandaged wound.

"The second bullet entered through your right lung, and exited the other side. This caused some serious damage to your lung. That's why we have you intubated. That tube should come out in a few days. You also bled very significantly from this wound. We estimate you lost several liters of blood, so we gave some blood transfusions." That wound really hurt, especially on my back. _I have to tell him to get that nurse back in here when he's through, _I thought.

"The third bullet was the most severe. The bullet entered through your lower back, shattered vertebrae T10 and T11, and lodged in the back of your liver. That bullet was removed, and your liver was repaired. The spinal cord damage was somewhat fixed surgically to set it. Ultimately, however, the truth is that you will far more than likely never walk again. I am very sorry to tell you this. You will need to take a drug called loperamide to reduce bowel motility, since you will no longer be able to defecate normally. You will also wear a urinary catheter full-time. When it needs to be emptied, simply ask someone. Your catheter will need to be changed daily. You can do this yourself actually. Your particular one is called a Texas catheter. It slips on and off like a condom. One of the nurses can show you how to do it. Simple enough, right?"

I wrote MY LIFE IS OVER.

"No, it's not," Dr. Cassel began. "You will have a life. You will live. Maybe not in the way you had hoped, but your life is far from over. "

I started crying, again. "Ulrich, it's going to be alright." He consoled, putting his hand on my uninjured shoulder.

I wrote NO ITS NOT.

"Life can sometimes throw curveballs. Just try to hit them and never let it get you down. And speaking of sports, I've heard what an athlete you are and I recommend using a manual wheelchair in order to keep your arms in shape. Your leg muscles will start to atrophy, so we will send someone to your school for rehabilitation."

I wrote CAN YOU SEND THE BLOND NURSE BACK IN? and showed the whiteboard to him.

"Yes sure," He laughed. "If you have any other further questions, you can ask one of the nurses."

I nodded as he exited and the blond nurse entered.

I wrote ANOTHER MASSAGE and flashed the message.

I rolled over on my stomach as she came over to my bed, putting more surgical gloves on and then she began to gently caress my back. I laid there in peace once again.

**Author's Note: I know a little medical stuff since I took an anatomy course my freshman year in college. They covered a lot of stuff that year. The doctor is supposed to look like former NBA player Shawn Bradley. **


	12. The Stains of Time

Chapter Twelve: The Stains of Time

Later that night, Odd came by with a few things for my room. One was my Pencak Silat poster. He put that on the wall next to my bed. He also brought my Zippo, which apparently I left at Kadic. Funny, considering I could have sworn that I took it with me that fateful night. He stayed for a few hours, and then went back to school.

I finally found out that masseuse-of-a-nurse's name: Audrey. She came back that night to give me another back massage. I really enjoyed that one. I wrote that she should have been a masseuse on the whiteboard, much to her amusement.

I had a lot of trouble sleeping. I kept having horrible nightmares. Everything was so vivid and clear. Most were about Yumi suffering the same fate as me, even though I knew that would never happen to her. My life has become only fragments and shards of a glass picture smashed by a bullet.

I woke up at about 3:00 AM with a start, sweating profusely. I turned on the television to find something to watch. I was flipping channels when I passed my favorite movie, _Enter the Dragon_, starring my hero Bruce Lee. He always left me sitting back in awe at his prowess. Another source of happiness came from watching Bruce Lee kick peoples' asses. I fell back asleep about an hour later.

* * *

"Ulrich?" a voice called, waking me.

I opened up my eyes to see Audrey standing there with Odd.

Odd was holding Kiwi in his arms, who was eagerly barking at me. "You have a visitor."

"Two, actually!" Odd corrected with a smile.

"Okay Mr. Della Robbia, the dog has some rules, and they will be obeyed. First, keep him relatively quiet so he won't disturb the other patients. Next, he is not to touch any of Ulrich's bandages. And last but not least, He is not to lick him. Comprende?" Audrey left the room after laying down the rules.

"So good buddy how are you?" Odd asked as Kiwi jumped from his arms to the bed and curled up next to me.

I grabbed the whiteboard and wrote WEAK AND LONELY.

"Aww, sorry to hear that." Odd took out a king-size candy bar and ate it almost entirely in one bite.

I raised my hand and gave him the finger.

"I was hungry!" Odd hollered with a mouthful of chocolate.

I wrote WHERE ARE THE OTHERS on the whiteboard and showed it to him.

"Jeremy and Aelita are at school. Yumi, though. She's taking this pretty hard. She looks really depressed all the time. I don't think she can bring herself to see you like this. She's reached the maximum amount of shit she can take in." I nodded, then reached for the button on my bed to page Audrey.

"What are you calling her for?" Odd looked confused.

I rolled on my sromach and sprawled out my arms as Audrey walked in. She threw Kiwi off the bed, and began to give me my massage.

"Wow, Ulrich! You really like those massages, don't you!" I gave a thumbs-up signal with one of my hands that were hanging off the side of the bed.

"When are you going to be able to go home?" Odd said as he picked up Kiwi.

"He will be able to be discharged in a few weeks time."

"When does he get that tube out of his mouth?"

"Tomorrow. " I think I feel asleep right there while she was rubbing my back.

* * *

Later that day I received a visit from the person I wanted to see most: Yumi Ishiyama.

She walked in looking ready to puke, but held it in well. I was pretty tired, and wanted a massage badly.

She sat down next to me, and there was a long silence, and then she broke the ice, tears streaming from her eyes.

"I love you, Ulrich."

**Author's Note: Yep, it came out. Now what? Leave some comments and reviews!**


	13. I Am Still Right Here

Chapter Thirteen: I Am Still Right Here

"I love you with all my heart and I don't want to be without you. I don't want you to feel sad either. You will always be the same, emotionally strong Ulrich Stern I always knew and loved." Yumi continued, sniffling with the tears rolling down her cheeks.

I started sobbing. That's when I realized how much I loved her. I made an "I love you" sign in sign language.

She grabbed my hand and began stroking it. I laid back and closed my eyes for a brief second, feeling her hands stroke mine. Then I had an idea. I removed my hands from hers and picked up my whiteboard and wrote CAN YOU MASSAGE MY BACK.

"Of course," she replied. "I give good ones too."

I lied on my stomach once again. She was about to begin when I grabbed her hand with one of mine and used my other hand to point to a box of surgical gloves on the table next to the bed.

"Damn, I nearly forgot!" She reached over and grabbed a pair. Sliding them on gently, she started smoothing out my itching, aching, sewed up back. _Holy shit! Her hands are softer than Audrey's! _She made me feel really relaxed and at peace. I couldn't believe it.

After about what seemed like an eternity of her warm, soothing hands caressing and rubbing, she made the first move. She started kissing my neck, on the side that wasn't partly bandaged because of my collarbone injury. _Shit. Is it possible her lips are softer than her hands?_ _At least now I know when I get out of here I can still feel good. _I was starting to really want to go all the way with her. But I didn't want to risk anything. And I didn't want to take my catheter out, either. So I just let her massage me and kiss me. We spent what seemed like forever together in that hospital room; I wish she never had to leave. If there's one thing in this life I'm sure of now, it's my love for Yumi. I was way too pessimistic earlier. No way was my becoming a cripple going to get in the way of our relationship. I realize what was once so hard for me to even say, never even had to be said before it came from the other direction. It was so strong now. The feeling of love coursing through my veins was almost as strong as the painkillers also running through them. Almost a day ago I was thinking of ending my life. But now I can't possibly do it. Yumi has become all I have to live for anymore. I'm still alive. Alive for her.

With that, I went to sleep and slept soundly for the first time in forever. I was dreaming of her and of the love that was in my head.

**Author's Note: Oh boy, I wrote that? I'm not really the romantic type but that was some of my best writing yet. Next chapter's going to be when Ulrich can finally speak for the first time.**


	14. If I Could Start Again

Chapter Fourteen: If I Could Start Again

I woke up early the next morning in a good mood, since today was the day I was getting my breathing tube taken out. I couldn't wait to speak, eat and drink again. My eyes opened to Odd, Jeremy, Aelita, and Yumi standing in front of me.

I sat up and waved at my friends, and wrote WHY ARE YOU ALL HERE on the whiteboard.

"To hear Ulrich Stern's voice!" Odd exclaimed.

I nodded my head. "And we have a surprise for you afterwards, If you're a good boy!" Odd added.

I rolled my eyes at his comment. Then the giant Dr. Cassel and Audrey walked in.

"Ready to breathe on your own again, Ulrich?"

I once again nodded, more enthusiastically this time. Audrey and Dr. Cassel both put on surgical gloves. "First we're going to shrink the balloon in your throat." She attached a syringe to an IV-looking thing protruding from my tube and pulled back on the plunger. "Breathe out." She said. Dr. Cassel leaned in and pulled the tube out. I choked as he did this and started coughing when the tube was fully removed.

"Well?" Odd projected.

I opened my mouth and at last got words out: "Odd Della Robbia, please for once in your life, shut up."

Everyone laughed out loud and group-hugged me.

"So what's the surprise, anyway?" I asked groggily.

"Oh yeah. We'll need some extra nurses for that." Jeremy answered, making a "come in" gesture to the door. The door opened and my response was…

"Holy shit!" I yelled, as before me was a giant smorgasbord of food and drinks.

"Time to dig in!" Odd almost dived into the platter, but was restrained by Jeremy.

"Oh, no you don't. Not yet" Jeremy warned.

Slowly we began to eat the massive quantities of food.

* * *

Later in the day, when we were all stuffed, I decided to talk to my friends together for the first time in a long time.

"I just want to say that I really am thankful to have you guys in my life. I was about ready to die until I realized how much you all cared about me." I announced, looking in my friends' eyes.

"What else are friends for?" Odd wrapped his arm around my shoulder after this comment.

"Hey Ulrich," Jeremy chimed in. "This is going to sound like a bizarre question, but the doctors told me you were technically dead for over a minute."

"So?"

"So I've heard that people when they have near-death experiences, they see white lights, and visions and things like that, Did you experience anything?"

I thought long and hard about how to answer that question. Should I have said that I had sex with Yumi? Should I have said that I knew about Jeremy and Aelita? Should I have said that Odd got me to think clearly? I ended up saying this instead: "I saw all of you. Living out your lives without me. And I realized it wasn't my time."

"Wow, sounds deep." Odd snorted.

"I felt like giving up but you guys got me to keep on living. I know it won't be easy, but I want to live my life to the fullest."

"We'll make sure it's easy as possible," Aelita added. "We will all be here for you."

We all just sat and talked for the rest of the day.

**Author's note: The next chapter takes place four weeks later and is where thing gradually become more grim.**


	15. What Have I Become

**Author's Note: In the last several hours I changed my mind about how much longer I'd like to continue this story due to other things getting in the way. I anticipate only a few more chapters so sorry if these seem rushed or abrupt.**

Chapter Fifteen: What Have I Become

I woke that night with a start once again. I was in pain. My scars were itching.

Thank God that Odd found some of that hydrocortisone cream.

I began to reflect on what happened over the last few weeks. When I left the hospital and came back to Kadic, everything was different and crazy. People did not know how to react to me. Some like Sissi and other girls tried to warm up to me, but I wasn't interested in their advances. Others, like Herve and Nicolas actually had the nerve to make fun of me. Speaking of that, Odd was suspended for several days for punching Nicolas so hard he drew blood. Nicolas had been pestering me about my handicap. Despite my happiness and optimism about my new life, it quickly evaporated when I realized how hard it was to stay sane let alone happy. I gradually started smoking again, as soon as my lungs fully healed. I also started doing something I never thought myself capable of: shooting up morphine. No one knew about that and that's the way it's staying. Cigarettes were one thing, but illegal drugs? That would just about do it. No one would ever look at me the same way again. Their minds would think _Ulrich Stern? A drug addict?_ It would probably shock them too much to speak.

If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I'm very close to suicide. One more thing would probably do it. I've been shot, paralyzed, and crippled. What more could possibly happen? Then I realized it could get worse. It was that fateful day when I was informed I would no longer be able to attend Kadic because they could not deal with my medical handicap.

I got used my arms to pull my wheelchair over and get into it. I wheeled myself out of my room and ultimately out of Kadic's dormitory building.

I found myself sitting on the bridge leading to the factory. I looked out over the moonlighted river. I pulled out what I realized was my last cigarette. I reached into my pocket and grabbed my Zippo and lit my cigarette and began to puff away, blowing smoke into the night sky. _What have I become?_ I thought. _A paralyzed 16-year-old with nothing left. Nothing more than a solitary shell. _I looked down at my lighter and thought of my cousin, and where he was right now.

"Fuck it." I said aloud. With that I chucked my lighter into the river. _Do I really want to die? Is this just another delusion of my depressed mind? But what is really left for me here, and what is waiting for me somewhere else? I guess there's really only one way for me to find. _

With that final thought, I threw my cigarette in the river. And right after it came my entire body. I fell into the cold water that collected over millions of years under the bridge. I closed my eyes and began to think peaceful thoughts as my already damaged lungs filled with water. After a few minutes I felt lifted away. A million miles away. To another place and time beyond the infinite. I was finally at peace. I was happy.

**Author's Note: By the way, I had planned for Ulrich to die this way since the story began, but since things changed in my schedule, he had to make an early exit. **


	16. A Million Miles Away

**Author's Note: This chapter is in Odd's perspective.**

Chapter Sixteen: A Million Miles Away

I awoke that morning to Jeremy, Aelita, and Yumi standing over my bed. They were all dressed and had sad looks on their faces.

"What's wrong with you guys?" I asked, half-asleep. "And where's Ulrich?"

"Ulrich's …dead, Odd." Jeremy has trouble even getting those words out.

"What?" I jumped out of my skin.

"He threw himself off the factory bridge last night. He's gone, Odd."

"Oh, FUCK!" Yumi shouted at the top of her lungs and started sobbing louder seemingly louder than anything physically human, and ran screaming from the room.

Jeremy and Aelita sat down next to me on my bed. Kiwi woke up and looked over and saw that Ulrich was gone and began to whimper.

"They found his body in the river this morning."

"You fucking lie!" I yelled.

"No Odd, it's true. He's in a better place now." I think I punched Jeremy in the face as I ran out of the room. I ran across the hall in my boxers and that red shirt I've had almost as long as I've known Ulrich and entered the boys' bathroom, and ran into the shower stall and began to cry as I had never cried before. I couldn't believe it. Ulrich, my best friend in the world, dead? I just couldn't believe it. And that he killed himself? My mind was just destroyed and shattered into pieces. I shut the shower curtain and turned on the water without even getting undressed. My tears mixed with the water flowing on my face. I don't think I'd ever be the same. I've lost the person I cared so much for. Then, in that moment, I began to think where Ulrich was. Is he in eternal darkness, or is he a million miles away in a happier place? I might never know the answer, but it still was something that I thought deeply about.

"Odd, are you in here?" Jeremy's voice called.

"Go away!" I howled, still crying.

"Odd, come out and talk to me!"

"Fuck you!" I responded from inside the running shower.

"Odd, you need to talk to us about this. It will make you feel better!"

"No I won't!" I was too distraught to think about anything. I almost wished I was dead instead of living without Ulrich. _No. I couldn't do that to everyone._ _Besides, I could never bring myself to do that. _I guess what I feared most was loneliness. I've never felt lonesome, really. Ulrich was there with me since I got to Kadic. We didn't get off to the best start, however Lyoko brought all of us closer together. I felt like I had been stabbed in the neck when Jeremy told me he was dead. I still don't believe it. I don't understand how he could just kill himself like that.

"Alright Jeremy," I sniffled. "I'll come out. But I need a towel."

"Here you go, Odd. " Jeremy threw me a towel. I don't know what I was thinking in the moment, but I ripped off my wet clothes in front of Jeremy.

"Odd, you're a _fucking _mess!" Jeremy said to me. _Did Jeremy just swear? _I thought. _I've never heard the kid say anything profane in my life. Wow, this shit's getting to him too, I guess. _I dried off and went back to my room to get dressed.

* * *

Going back in my room, I found myself in a state of shock seeing Ulrich's side of the room. That Pencak Silat poster, those nunchaku and ninja stars right next to them. I opened his bottom drawer and found more personal artifacts of his. I found his Game Boy, a Pencak Silat uniform, Nike soccer cleats, and a soccer uniform. In the next drawer I found more of his clothes. _Jesus, what did he see in the color green anyway?" _ I found a bottle of Percocet, and next to that a pack of cigarettes. His lighter wasn't there. _God. He must have drowned with that in his pocket. _ Under his clothes I found a picture of all of us taken in Jeremy's room. I began to cry when I saw Ulrich smiling in it. I opened up his wardrobe and found a soccer ball and his skateboard perched up against the wall of the wardrobe. In the bottom drawer of the wardrobe I found several CD's and Game Boy cartridges and also his diary. _I won't read it. _I knew I wouldn't. He wouldn't want me to. I just put It back in the drawer and closed it. I couldn't look at anything of his anymore, so I threw on my purple outfit and headed for the cafeteria.

* * *

That day no one in the whole school said anything to each other, except when they were asked by a teacher to answer a question in class. Everyone was so shell-shocked by the news that many students asked to go to the bathroom to puke up that morning's breakfast. The 11th grade had an assembly later that day to discuss how everyone was feeling. Very few people actually spoke up to share their feelings. The only ones who did were Emily de Luc, who Ulrich was pretty friendly with, Theo Gauthier, and Sissi. The most surprising one to step forward was William. William and Ulrich had a fierce rivalry in the past, but buried the hatchet shortly before he was shot. He gave such a moving speech about Ulrich that many people left the room in tears. Nicolas and Herve were not in the room, I think they were too ashamed to show their faces. Or afraid I would knock the shit out of them. After the assembly was over, Mr. Delmas and Jim asked to speak to us in Delmas' office.

* * *

"I'm sure how hard this must be for you, but I wanted to ask if any of you want to speak at Ulrich's funeral." Delmas proposed from behind his desk.

"We all will, Mr. Delmas!" Odd eagerly accepted. The other Lyoko warriors looked at Odd with depressed looks.

"Very well, then. I've hired a grief counselor you can see if you like."

"No!" Everyone said in a chorus.

"The funeral is tomorrow morning. Jim will take you when we're done here to pick out some dress clothes. Right, Jim?"

"Yes, Mr. Delmas." Jim wiped a tear from his eye.

We all got up and left with Jim, thinking about what we could possibly say tomorrow.

**Author's Note: Next chapter will probably be the last one. There could be one more after that, like an epilogue, but I'm not sure.**


	17. I Focus On The Pain

**Author's Note: A major chapter: Ulrich's funeral. This will be once again told from Odd's POV.**

Chapter Seventeen: I Focus On The Pain

"Della Robbia, time to get up. You need to get ready." An unusually calm Jim was rubbing my left shoulder.

"Oh, alright, I'm getting up." I rolled out of bed and stood up.

"You're a mess, kid. Get yourself together. We're leaving in an hour, so get ready. Your suit is on Ulrich's bed." Jim pointed at the suit that was laid out on my best friend's vacant bed.

"I'm headed to the showers, Jim. I'll see you then." As soon as Jim left, I kneeled down and opened the drawer below my bed and sitting side by side was my hair gel and a head-shaving kit that Ulrich got me as a joke. Debating what to do, I absent-mindedly grabbed the shaving kit and went to the bathroom.

When I entered the bathroom, I went to the sink and took out the electric razor and began giving myself a buzz cut. _Oh my God, my hair hasn't been this short since I was eight. _After I was done, I took a glance at myself in the mirror. My blond hair was as short as it's ever been maybe less than a centimeter, and my purple streak in the front made me look quite unusual. I've always been told that purple streak was natural, since it never came out when I washed it. I cleaned up the hair and threw it out.

I stripped and turned on the shower and started washing my itchy scalp.

It was probably the most boring shower I ever took.

* * *

It was time to leave, so I met Jim and the other Lyoko Warriors outside the school.

Jeremy was wearing a jet-black suit with a white shirt and a dark blue tie. Aelita was wearing a dark brown knee-length dress with heels. Yumi looked as if she was straight out of an Edgar Allan Poe story. She had eyeliner so dark you'd think she was a zombie. She had a black thigh-length skirt that seemed to have some small kanji symbol on the side near where her skirt ended. She was so despondent I thought she was dead.

Everyone just about dropped when they got their first look at me. I was also wearing a black suit but the tie I was wearing was violet.

"Jesus, Odd!" exclaimed Jeremy.

"Yeah, I figured I couldn't show up to a funeral with my hair looking the way it did."

"You look…good." Jeremy commented.

"Thanks. Are you all ready to go?"

Everyone sighed and got into Jim's minivan.

* * *

When we pulled into the funeral home, Jim asked us if we all had decided what we were going to say. We didn't answer. Jim just assumed we did and we got out of the car.

None of Ulrich's family was there. I couldn't believe that. That seemed really fucked up that, although his family was mostly dead, that his uncle didn't even show up. Considering he's Ulrich's last living family member, I fully expected him to be there.

We walked into the funeral home and right into the main hall. There, at the front was Ulrich. _Oh shit, open-casket? You've got to be kidding._ He looked so peaceful as the four of us walked toward the casket. Flowers adorned the mahogany box, along with pictures taken from various points in his life. We were in more than a few of them. I kneeled down and mentally greeted him. He was wearing a dark grey suit. His hair hadn't changed, or even his face. He just looked like the same old Ulrich Stern we all knew and loved. The only thing I noticed was he seemed to be smiling. _Those fucking undertakers. If they had known who he really was, they would never have twisted his face into that contorted, fake smile._ I stepped back and each of the other three kneeled down on the pew and did something mentally.

One thing I noticed were the large amount of students and teachers that were there. William, Jim and Mr. Delmas were sitting in the front row, next to where our seats were reserved. The order was of our speeches was supposed to be Jeremy, Aelita, Me, and Yumi to finish it off. After the priest said a quick prayer, he invited Jeremy to speak first.

"…Jeremy Belpois would like to say the first of the four eulogies. Jeremy?"

Jeremy stood up and approached the podium. He cleared his throat into the microphone and began to speak.

"Ulrich Stern was my first real friend at Kadic Academy. We met in a set of bizarre circumstances that would eventually become the basis for our friendship: a series of events that cannot be explained. He was one of the most emotionally strong people I have ever met, yet was so withdrawn you couldn't even get two words out of him sometimes. I remember this one time when I pushed him to answer, and he ran out of the room because he was ashamed that he was letting his friends down. Odd here in the front row had to explain to me what was wrong with him. Once he explained, I totally felt sorry for snapping at Ulrich that way. I am thoroughly devastated that he's gone, because he's the reason I have friends in the first place. He is in many ways the reason I have the courage to stand up here and speak to all of you this morning. I just hoped that he would be standing next to me next year at graduation. I'm just sorry I couldn't keep him happy." With that he stepped down, said goodbye to Ulrich, and sat back down, tears in his eyes.

Aelita patted Jeremy on the back and got up to the podium.

"Ulrich was someone I'll never forget. Someone who no one understood but everyone accepted and cared about. He saved my life more times than I can think. I felt sorry for him when he was depressed. I didn't pretend to know why. When you asked Ulrich Stern what was wrong or if he was okay, you'd get a shrug of "Leave me alone!" But that was just it. He was never alone, and we didn't like for him to be alone either. He may never have admitted it to our faces, but he definitely appreciated our support. I still can't believe I'm speaking at his funeral. His _funeral!_ I'm sorry. I really think I can't say more than that because I'm in too much shock." She kneeled next to the casket and planted a kiss on his cheek.

I took a deep breath and got up. Everyone who hadn't already seen my hair gasped at the sight.

"Hi, I'm Odd Della Robbia. I was Ulrich's best friend and roommate. I understood him more than anyone because I spent the most time with him. I can't help but think of all the things I'll miss about him. His tolerance, his friendship, his ability to honor our friendship through countless times where I made him mad or forced him into awkward positions. He was like family to me, but one thing I could never understand about him was how he could possibly handle the pressure his father put on him. That man was a psychotic, murderous man who more or less caused his son's death. And let me tell you something else. I bet none of you, despite the fact you're all so eager to pay homage to him, knew Ulrich Stern as more than a soccer whiz or a martial artist. So when I see you all crying over someone you barely knew, I think to myself, what a bunch of sad, pathetic human beings you are. Especially you, Sissi. That garbage you were spouting at the assembly had me sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe what you were saying about him. 'Oh, I loved him.' Was that what you said? Well let me let you in on a little secret. Ulrich hated you. Do you know how many times he would come back to our room and complain about what a spoiled, entitled brat you were? I knew him more than anyone here and if people like you are going to throw things like that around in front of me, you can all go to hell. I don't want to speak to any of you anymore. Goodbye." Everyone's jaws were on the ground. I stepped down from the podium and went over to my friend's casket and cried hysterically over it for about a minute and ran sobbing the room.

* * *

As soon as Yumi was finished with her speech, she left the main hall and went outside to find me sitting on the bench.

"What do you want?" I angrily asked.

"To say that I hope you feel better," She consoled. "Do you know what I said in my speech?"

"What?"

"That I would never recover from this, and neither would you. I said that I loved Ulrich with my heart and that I will miss him forever. I also told them that I'm leaving Kadic."

"You're what?"

"I'm moving back to Japan, Odd. My family and I can't live with this over our heads. I was going to tell you in there but you ran out, so I'm telling you out here."

I felt a mixture of anger, sadness, regret, and betrayal all at once.

"When are you leaving?"

"Not for a while, but I've already stopped coming to Kadic."

"Well, then I'm ashamed that we have to leave each other."

At that moment, Jeremy and Aelita came out the front door and sat on the bench next to me.

"Odd," Jeremy began "You realize you're going to get expelled for this, right?"

"Yeah, I know. But it was the only way I was going to get all my feelings out."

"You know you're never going to see us again for a long time, right?" Aelita added.

"Well, maybe one day we'll see each other again." I put my arms around Jeremy and Aelita.

I got up and started walking away from the other three when Jeremy posed a surprisingly hard-to-answer question. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know. I've been around an entire virtual world already. Maybe I should explore the real world."

"Wait," Jeremy called out. "Come here."

I walked over to Jeremy and he stuck out his hand.

"I'll miss you, Einstein." I shook it and locked eyes with him

"I'll miss you, too."

I let go of his hand and Aelita gave me a hug and wished me good luck.

Last but not least, I walked over to Yumi. We did not actually exchange any words, merely parting glances. I smiled, as did she. I turned around and began walking to the other end of the parking lot. I looked up to the sky and saw a cloud that looked strangely like a boy's upper body with scruffy hair. I thought many thoughts but kept on walking, putting a life that once was so usual to me in my rear-view. I took one last look at the Lyoko warriors and headed into an uncertain future.

**Author's Note: One short epilogue follows.**


	18. Epilogue

Chapter 18: Ten Years Later.

You'd be surprised, but ten years after my best friend committed suicide, I don't think about it too much.

A lot happened after I left Kadic. Sissi left the school. Her father quit and took a job in a school in downtown Paris. William was expelled after he was caught having sex with Heidi Klinger by Jim. Speaking of Jim, he never left the school and never considered even getting another job. Jeremy and Aelita graduated and went to the same college. They both majored in computer science. Seven years after I left Kadic, I received a surprising message from Jeremy. He and Aelita were getting married and wanted me to be the best man. I accepted, and at their wedding I was surprised to learn that the Maid of honor was none other than Yumi Ishiyama. We stayed up all night catching up. Yumi had become a frequently-consulted advisor for Japanese martial arts films. Jeremy had become a top-tier software programmer, and Aelita became a government worker in the cyberterrorism department. As for me, after spending the last seven years all over the world, I settled in Naples, Italy to be near most of the Della Robbia family. I used the money my parents loaned me to start a art-dealing business. One thing that has not changed though in ten years is who remains by my side. Kiwi is 15 and is now getting up there in years but is still just as energetic and loyal.

Today I took a plane trip to a small town near Paris, where I spent a good chunk of my life.

I walked into an old cemetery and walked through it until I found a grave marked ULRICH STERN and below that read BELOVED FRIEND, and right next to it AND SON. I chuckled at who in their right mind wrote that and put a tattered old book on the marker. "I kept my promise," I said aloud. "Even if it was never official. Goodbye, good buddy."

I walked away, my hair blowing in the snowy winter wind.

**Well, that's it for my first fanfic! Leave me some reviews and tell me what you thought! **


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